“Let love and faithfulness never leave you. Bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.” -Proverbs 3:3

This verse stuck out to me due to the use of the word “neck”. Bind them around your neck. As I literally had bandages around my freshly, surgically-cut neck, I sat humbled in these words.

The harshness of binding something to your throat provoked such a raw pain in my heart. Yet, it was the sweetest reminder.

Through all this, love and faithfulness has never left me. God has never left me. I have seen Him move in so many ways throughout all of this.

My scar is just a physical reminder of that. It helps me transform my thoughts of fear and disgust at the line across my neck to that of tenderness and appreciation for how God has moved in my life.

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil.” -Psalm 23:4

I repeated this to myself over and over as I was going into my surgery. The hospital environment is sterile, barren, and methodical.

There’s no music, no colors, no natural beauty. It is not the same wasteland that Jesus wandered through in isolation, but it is a different kind of battlefield.

I shall fear no evil. The evil in my case, being cancer. I shall fear no knife, no procedure, no cancer. Because God is bigger than it all.

“Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus”. -1 Thessalonians 5:18

This one stings sometimes, not going to lie! Grateful? For this?

But who can argue God’s word? His will is simple, give Him glory! This simple verse gave me the ability to see my circumstance from a larger lens.

As I zoom farther and farther out, I can see my blessings clearer. My family, my loved ones, my experiences.. It floods my heart with warmth and immediately replaces the fear.

“But You, Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high” -Psalm 3:3-5

After my surgery, my head was stuck in a downwards gaze due to the stitches. As I glumly faced the floor, I was reminded of this verse.

Jesus is the One who lifts my head high! He is there to direct our gaze upwards upon Him.

The literal gaze of my downwards head was a reflection of my disheartened spirit. But as I redirected my focus and made the choice to trust God in my recovery and healing, I was able to gain some relief.