Hypo or Hyper, that is the question.

Hypothyroidism is when your hormone levels are too low. It causes symptoms such as fatigue, weight gain, hair loss, hair dryness, sensitivity to cold, constipation, depression, muscle aches and other fun things.

Hyperthyroidism is when your hormones are too high. This results in anxiety, a racing heart, hot flashes, weight loss, diarrhea, insomnia and clammy skin (just to name a few).

I first was hyper, than hypo. Both carry their own baggage.

The thought of a perfectly normal range of hormones seems to me to be an unattainable fantasy.

So instead, I think about which one I would prefer.

Would I rather feel exhausted each day, or wound up all day?

Would I rather be depressed, or anxious?

Would I rather unexplainedly gain weight, or have hot flashes in public spaces?

Would I rather have my nails break off constantly, or be unable to sleep at night?

Too bad we can’t cherry pick from both sides of the spectrum. I’ll choose mood swings if it stops me from gaining weight. Or, I’ll take a couple hot flashes if I can just sleep comfortably through the night.

Unfortunately, it’s sort of a package A or package B deal. I dread telling my doctor all of my symptoms because I don’t want to have to go through that uncomfortable adjustment period of a new dose.

I know that I will probably feel even worse before feeling better.

But, the sooner we can get me on a perfect dose, the better. So I am accepting that this trial and error period is going to be worth it in the end.