I often think about how we respond to fear with either a fight, flight, or freeze response. I can immediately identify when I go in freeze mode. My heart drops. My breath gets caught. My chest constricts. My jaw clenches. I pass a Baylor Scott & White…freeze. I see a post about cancer recurrence…freeze. I …
Tag: cancer journey
Countdown to labs
I had a blissful four months of zero cancer-fearing thoughts after hearing that I transitioned into remission! However as I recently flipped through my calendar to September, I was reminded that my six-month checkup is right around the corner. The only reason I’m anxious for this appointment is because we are getting labs done for …
Embracing Good News
On February 25th, I received my 1-year scan results that showed no thyroid cancer cells remaining anywhere in my body. Pair that with my blood work which revealed “undetectable traces of disease", I went from an active cancer patient to a woman in in remission just like that! Hallelujah! Sharing this good news was one …
Triggered Trauma
Is it too much to ask for a normal doctors appointment where ZERO red flags come up? 😅 I had my well-women’s exam at the gynecologist about two months after finishing RAI. I was coming to terms with the bodily changes I was going through, and was trying to stay positive about healing from this …
Work & Illness
Managing an illness and managing a career simultaneously is, to put it simply, exhausting. The constant pressure to perform, deliver excellent customer service, and simply show up can seem impossible when dealing with your own private nightmare. I was working for Hyatt as a hotel manager when I was being tested, scanned and biopsied for …
How to Show Up for Your Cancer Friend
The world needs more people to show up for others. Too many people, for whatever reason, are afraid to be vulnerable, to sit in silence, to try and understand and empathize others. The reality is, not a lot of people stick around when life gets messy. It sort of felt like my life was a …
Things NOT To Say To a Cancer Patient
“You won the lottery of cancers. It’s the “good” cancer.” The amount of nurses who told me this line… oof. I had to grimace and fake laugh and say oh yes, lucky me! Jackpot! I have malignant cells, but since it is treatable, I won the lottery! “At least it’s not breast cancer.” This felt …
Hyperawareness & Illness
When you become sick, you suddenly notice every sensation with an acute awareness. Each pain brings up the question of whether or not this means something deeper is lingering underneath. Each flash of emotion brings the possibility of it being a medication side effect rather than just a life side effect. Am I sad because …
RAI Results
About three hours after my scan, a “new test result” notification popped up on my phone. I expected to see CANCER FREE!!!!!! I expected my doctor to call me celebrating the great news that I had no cancer in me! In hindsight, I see I overlooked a lot of educational material that would have shown …
RAI Treatment ~ Part 4
Wednesday morning, in the thick of the winter storm, we made our way yet again to the hospital for my "glow day". My dad sent me in with a nervous hug, as I’m sure this was scarier to him than it even was for me. I was so numb to these doctors appointments at this …
The "Good" Cancer 