I had a blissful four months of zero cancer-fearing thoughts after hearing that I transitioned into remission! However as I recently flipped through my calendar to September, I was reminded that my six-month checkup is right around the corner.

The only reason I’m anxious for this appointment is because we are getting labs done for my thyroglobulin levels, aka the test that detects if there’s any cancer lingering around somewhere.

Thyroglobulin is a scary name too. It makes me think of thyroid goblins.. which is kind of a clever way to personify the cancer I suppose!

I am sure it’ll come back normal and fine. Everything from six months ago came back as good as it possibly could have, but just knowing that I have to wait for a critical test result again makes me nauseous.

I google things like cancer reoccurrence rates and see stats that end up slinking to the back of my brain; lurking and waiting for the opportunity to speak up when my mind settles at night.

I’m already anxious to get these labs done and even though my appointment’s not until the end of the month, I’ve planned out the entire ordeal.

Most importantly, I’m going to get an M&M McFlurry after my bloodwork and an Einsteins egg&cheese bagel before my endocronologist appointment (per tradition!).

I’m planning to email my doctor for my orders to be sent to Quest next week (September 12th), then I’ll get my labs done the following (September 19th), and will have my in-person appointment the next (September 26th).

I even wrote out the freaking note I’m sending to my doctor which is literally just “hey, can you send my order to Quest Diagnostics? Thanks!”

I’ve planned the day of the week that I’ll get the labs done; Tuesday or Wednesday, so I can see the results before the weekend. I’ll go in the afternoon so I don’t have to work after. I’m going to tell my manager that I won’t be traveling that week, just in case.

I’ve heard that preparing for the potential results I could see may be helpful..

Possibility 1: <.1 cancer detected

Hell yes. Breathe a big sigh of relief and let it be for another six months, until the next labs and ultrasound.

Possibility 2: >.1 cancer detected

Shit. It may suck but it won’t kill me. My surgeon did a really good job to keep it from getting to my lymph nodes. It doesn’t change my day to day. I have the best endocrinologist who will talk me through next steps.

I will try to leave it at that and know that I’ll get through this next month no matter what: whether it’s with thyroid goblins or not.